hyenas, terrifying and excellently organized predators of the savannah
also surprisingly docile and like neck scritches and have a tail chasing compulsion
if you don’t think hyenas are great then you’re objectively wrong
Aaaahhh, I love hyenas. :D
Hyenas: Always getting a bad rap because lions are jerks. Lions actually steal from hyenas most of the time because hyenas are the better predators — but they’re also very skittish when faced with a giant pride of cats. Adorable babies!
Okay, lemme tell you about spotted hyenas, aka the BAMFiest BAMFs in the animal kingdom.
- Their societies are entirely female-dominated. Female hyenas are larger and stronger than males and have higher social status in clan hierarchy - even the lowest-ranking female in a hyena clan is higher up the social ladder than the highest-ranking male. They’re basically the Amazons of the animal world. The females even have false penis-like appendages (which are essentially large clitorises), which led the ancient Greeks to think that hyenas were hermaphrodites. Because fuck your narrow human perceptions of sex and gender roles, that’s why.
- They are considered the dominant predators of the African savannah, despite not being the largest or strongest, because they are the most successful hunters. Their hunting success rate is estimated to be about 70-80%, meaning that they catch about 70-80% of prey they pursue - a freakishly high statistic (to compare, the success rate of lions and wolves is about 20-30%). They also scavenge much less than lions do, as whowasntthere said, and are incredibly adaptable and opportunistic predators, meaning that they are also the most common and widespread of the large African carnivores. That’s not too bad for an animal typecast as a lazy scavenger.
- Their jaws are some of the strongest in the animal kingdom, stronger than those of lions, tigers, wolves or perhaps bears, and can crush elephant and giraffe bones; hyenas are also able to digest all bone matter. Don’t tell me that’s not metal as fuck.
- Despite looking like dogs, they are not part of the dog family and are actually more closely related to cats. Because fuck your logic. Nature does what it wants.
- They are incredibly intelligent. They are easily as intelligent as primates and some scientists claim that their intelligence may even rival that of the great apes, which would make them among the most intelligent animals in the world. Hyenas even outperform chimpanzees on some tests, which is pretty damn awesome, considering that chimpanzees are our closest relatives and all.
So yeah, basically hyenas are awesome and badass as well as truly fascinating animals and if you don’t have at least a bit of respect for them you’re wrong.
I think I’ve caught tumblritus. I’m finding way too much cool shit :I
Lady hyenas also give birth through their clitorises. (What’s the plural, clitores? I can’t believe I know the plural of penis — it’s penes — but not clitoris.) THEY PISS BABIES. Sort of. It tears the clitoris, which then has to heal up again. Hyenas are fucking metal. :D
(Also, I will never stop being amused that both dickbabies and assbabies are things that occur in nature. :D Our ideas of gender construction as related to genitals are super limited, yo.)
This week’s HIMYM was wonderful and sweet. What made it truly hilarious, tho, was watching it right after watching Elementary. There’s an extensive callback to Ted thinking he’s some great detective, and the contrast just made it perfect.
If I’d started watching Elementary when it first started airing, I’m not sure I would have stuck with it. Lucy Liu is cool, and the flow and writing is pretty good, but Sherlock is an asshole.
But given what I’ve heard about where they go from this, what the character arcs do, I can see how they’re laying the groundwork for that already, and that makes me want to see how this all plays out.
drive thru employees
they are sick of your nonsense
I lost my fucking shit at the fish and scared the shit out of my cat!! I am crying!!
since april fool’s is coming up here’s a causal reminder that faking a suicide note is not a prank and in fact equates you to actual garbage
everyone please reblog this.
Frankenstein enters into a body building competition and finds he has seriously misunderstood the objective
HAVE YOU EATEN RECENTLY?
ARE YOU HYDRATED?
IS THERE MEDICATION YOU NEED TO TAKE?
HAVE YOU LAUGHED TODAY?
FRIENDLY REMINDER BECAUSE I KNOW I NEED THEM EVERY SO OFTEN.
ALSO HERE HAVE A KITTEN:
Tillow + more touchy moments, requested by theblutomato
I want more queer friendship stories. Not just stories where the only two queer people find each other and fall in unhealthy codependent love in a sea of cishets. Give me whole communities of queer people. Give me queer best friends gushing to each other about their silly crushes. Give me younger queers going to older queers for advice and guidance, without getting creeped on. Give me queer friends cuddling and watching tv together, or baking cookies together, or a big group of diverse queer people fighting about where to go out to eat because everyone has a different favorite place, but ultimately they decide to go to everyone’s favorite place at least once and just flip a coin or something to decide who’s turn it is to pick. Give me queer friends from different cultures bonding over sharing their cultural differences. Give me queer people starting college or moving for a new job and learning how to be a part of a new community full of other queer people.
Romance is nice and all, and queer romance needs more representation. But friendship is every bit as important, and more important to some people. I don’t want to hear stories where I have to hope I find that one other queer person to be happy with and then shut out the rest of the world. I want community.